


Rules of the Scrapyard

by fandom_susceptible



Series: Prowl's Lists [3]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Robots in Disguise (2015)
Genre: Denny's in it, List Fic, Only Prowl actually "speaks", Prowl's list of rules, So is Russell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 06:49:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11008170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_susceptible/pseuds/fandom_susceptible
Summary: Prowl drafts an entirely new set of rules for life at the scrapyard now that it's an official Autobot hideaway.





	Rules of the Scrapyard

  1. Do not refer to the scrapyard as a ‘junkyard’, ‘junk heap’, or any other name except “scrapyard” or “vintage salvage depot”. Denny takes this as a personal offense.
  2. Do not tell Grimlock the place is surrounded by cats. He is terrified of them for unknown reasons.
  3. Do not give Sideswipe energon treats. Like any sparkling or human child he will become over agitated.
  4. Do not steal Drift’s swords. The reason should not have to be explained.
  5. Do not insult the minicons or minibots for their size, nor imply that they are less capable than other bots. They are more than capable and in many ways more dangerous.
  6. Stop trying to make Strongarm’s processor fritz. Her battle computer is not as invasive as Prowl’s and therefore does not cause the same glitch when overused.
  7. Do not mock Bumblebee’s early attempts at a catchphrase. He will be offended and he outranks everyone here.
  8. Do not call Windblade a Seeker. She is a Camien and has a deep prejudice against Seekers due to previous experiences with a mech who may or may not be an ancestor of Starscream.
  9. Do not make fun of Fixit’s glitch. The reason should not have to be explained.
  10. Do not ask about Drift’s past. It will not end well.
  11. Yes, there is a red swordsmech on Bee team known as Sideswipe. No, he is not Sunstreaker’s twin.  They are not even related.
  12. Bumblebee, Strongarm, Sideswipe, Fixit, Grimlock, Drift, Jetstorm, and Slipstream are the regular bot crew of the scrapyard. Any other bot is a guest or a Decepticon.  All guests defer to Bumblebee. (Jazz and Prime are the exceptions; the latter is his equal, the former his CO under any circumstances.)
  13. Jetstorm and Slipstream are not twins. Stop implying it.
  14. There are no romantic relationships among the members of Bee Team. Stop telling pairs of bots you “ship” them, particularly in any case regarding Bumblebee, Sideswipe, or Strongarm.
  15. The minicons are not Drift’s sparklings. Stop implying it.
  16. Update: The minicons are Drift’s _adopted_ sparklings. Stop commenting on it.
  17. Fixit is not a drone. This should not need to be a rule.
  18. Yes, Knock Out is one of Sideswipe’s creators. No, you may not ask the identity of the other one.
  19. Yes, Sideswipe has a surprising amount of medical knowledge. He also has no experience.  Allow him to perform medical operations at your own risk.
  20. Bumblebee is the commander of Bee Team and Lieutenant of the Scout Division of the Autobot Army. He outranks all of you.  This does not make him the oldest or most experienced; give him advice if you think it necessary in a non-urgent setting.
  21. Drift is the oldest member of Bee Team, other than Windblade (see rule #22). He does not appreciate comments on this.
  22. Windblade is chronologically the oldest member of Bee Team. She spent most of this time in stasis, however, which makes her among the youngest in a practical sense.
  23. Windblade is a Cityspeaker from Caminus. The Camien religion deifies the Primes.  Do not mock her behavior toward Optimus Prime.  The reason should not have to be explained.
  24. Denny is no longer allowed consumables or personal items of any kind while riding in the Autobots.
  25. Russell is allowed personal items and certain pre-approved by the bot consumables.
  26. No one is allowed to ride Grimlock without his express permission. It is degrading.
  27. Drift does not appreciate passengers other than his minicons either.
  28. Jetstorm and Slipstream may deploy from any Autobot, but they prefer Drift. Respect their preferences.
  29. Yes, Grimlock is a former Decepticon. The worst he was convicted for was vandalism.  Stop discriminating against him.
  30. Yes, Drift is also a former Decepticon. He is reformed.  Stop discriminating against him. (Could use him in Spec Ops - J) No, Jazz, he will not be reusing his identity as Deadlock.
  31. The youngling formerly known as Sideswipe on Bee Team has chosen to redesignate himself Fastlane as an adult, to avoid confusion with Sunstreaker's twin.  Respect this.
  32. Cease commenting on Drift's return to his Circle of Light armor and grooming.
  33. Do not attempt to use Drift's Great Sword.  It will end badly.
  34. Given Wildbreak's reveal as Fastlane's brother, and Knock Out's efforts to extract him from the Stunticons, he is now an Autobot.  He will be treated as such.
  35. Rule #34 does not give Fastlane the right to assault anyone who does not respect it.
  36. Rule #34 also does not give Knock Out the right to assault or otherwise damage those who do not respect it.
  37. Slipstream and Jetstorm are no longer students.  They will be treated as full-fledged members of the team.
  38. Discrimination based upon differing religions will not be tolerated.
  39. Rule #38 also applies to Drift's spiritualistic belief in the Knights of Cybertron.
  40. Religious debate is not the same as religious discrimination.  Learn the difference.



**Author's Note:**

> So I have officially been converted to G1 Drift's catlike cuteness/badaftness. So his "return to his Circle of Light armor and grooming" refers to his appearance after the death of Dai Atlas in Generation 1.


End file.
